Notebook excerpts

10 février 2020

I want a break. 

From people. Including the person I’m trying to be. 

I want to be. Not be someone or something or be doing or having.

Just BE.

I want a break from having to tell people who I am or am not, what I do or don’t, if I’m ok or not. 

I want to wake up, breathe and Be.

Nothing else.

I want to face the void.

The pain.

The fear.

The guilt.

The shame.

I want to look them in the eye and stay focused. Stay conscious. Stay present.

I want to be with myself, in myself; and just that.

Just for a while..

Just the time it will take, for me to find myself; find my balance and be able to keep it around people.

Because I have it all.

I have Peace, Love & Happiness in and around me but I keep losing track of it because I tune in with people instead of tuning in with myself.

Everything is perfect as it is but people keep asking me, what's next?

Life is enough as it is but people keep asking me, what else?

Being is enough. Breathing is enough. Water is enough.

Pain is ok. Suffering is part of the whole.

I don't want to owe anything to anyone.

No money. No status. No explanation. No word.